you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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