Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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