Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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