So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
