I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
