Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
