i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
