Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
