So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
