i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
