He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The best revenge is premature balding
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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