this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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