talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
