note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
