I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
