It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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