Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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