so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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