The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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