Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
