Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
