She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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