She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
