Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
