Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
