Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He kissed a someone with a penis
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
