all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
