you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
