i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
