If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
