y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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