My room smells like vodka and shame
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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