I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
