Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
