I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
