so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
