Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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