Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
