Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
