I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
soo... how was my night?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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