my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
