Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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