Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
