me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
