I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
