I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
