Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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