if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
