Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
