I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
