No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
