I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
